2 years ago, baby C was born into this world.
The day he was born I knew there was a mamma in labor, and through my calculations I have figured that while he was being birthed, I was a riding roller coaster...this one in particular.
That whole phase of life is such a a blur, getting our foster license, Joseph getting our first phone call, and the actual trip to the hospital to pick up the sweetest baby on a Sunshiney June Monday. This was his 3rd day of life, 2 years ago today. I remember getting into the locked *supersecret* nursery at the big hospital. I drove circles looking for the parking garage. I talked to the nurse, I peeked at the babies, and settled into feed and rock my first child. I texted joseph that the baby was perfect. He reminds me of this text because he remembers verifying the information when he met C for the first time. So healthy. So adorable.
I get asked often with my swollen pregnant butt taking up everyone's space these days, if "this is my first." I say yes, but really, there have been kiddos that had my heart first. Not used up or ripped out, but been there. And C was my first ray of sunshine. Had we been able to adopt, he wouldn't have been my eldest. His sweet sister would have taken that role, in a commanding way of course. But he was my first. The child who made me a mamma.
Sweet Baby T
Dear child, for that moment, those 14 months, you were the fire of my world....bringing light, fear, chaos, and warmth to my barren heart.
What I learned during my brief privilege as your mamma; besides the fact I can't take a good picture to save my life. Was that, like my love for my husband, perhaps even a bit more quickly felt, love is sacrifice. Saying goodbye to you and T is to date the hardest thing I have ever done. I love you so much son.
No comments:
Post a Comment