Captain's log star date 03202014...
The little people have taken over the house. The paralyzed one has made a miraculous recovery in his 9 months outside the womb, and has become mobile. He now roams freely causing destruction and mayhem at his own peril. He has begun to demand things, time, and his neediness in general is now summoned with the making of aggressive noises.
We are on day 5 of the she-child's strike on nap time. This coincided with the tossing of the infamous nuk "night night" cup. Today we are on hour 1.5 of constant crying. She is sleeping at night, but these nap time strikes are causing excessive crankiness, irritability, and hoarseness from the incessant tears and screams. 'Tis heartbreaking to behold, but we must remain firm with our demands on said nap time.
Thursday, March 20, 2014
Wednesday, March 5, 2014
Tuesday, March 4, 2014
#newparent
Really, this blog should be called HASHTAG NEW PARENT!! because seriously... that is the number one thing in my life that shapes my day to day: and thus, my life/blog. The only real thing that is interestingly relevant in my life, is us being NEW parents. (ok so by now we are only SORTA new... not AS new,but still relatively new...and keep in mind I started this particular post in August haha)
Sometimes it has been hard to tell what is unique to fostering and what is just parenting. Minus my non-hormonal introduction to mommy-hood, NOTHING is different as far as I am concerned. Not when it comes to my kids. Sure I have way more people and paper involved my parenting process. But lots of people have kids in occupational therapy, with behavioral challenges or baggage.
Part of my transitions has been especially noticeable when pertaining to my toddler, i.e. the child I JUMPED in the middle of life with...ok so realistically I missed 18 months of her life..so she is hardly in the middle...but it sure felt like I missed a whole bunch. With the baby I only missed 3 days. And even then I have wondered what specifics of his life I missed... But with T I have struggled with what's a behavior from a neglected baby/preemie/possible exposure vs. typical two year old?
Sometimes it has been hard to tell what is unique to fostering and what is just parenting. Minus my non-hormonal introduction to mommy-hood, NOTHING is different as far as I am concerned. Not when it comes to my kids. Sure I have way more people and paper involved my parenting process. But lots of people have kids in occupational therapy, with behavioral challenges or baggage.
Part of my transitions has been especially noticeable when pertaining to my toddler, i.e. the child I JUMPED in the middle of life with...ok so realistically I missed 18 months of her life..so she is hardly in the middle...but it sure felt like I missed a whole bunch. With the baby I only missed 3 days. And even then I have wondered what specifics of his life I missed... But with T I have struggled with what's a behavior from a neglected baby/preemie/possible exposure vs. typical two year old?
I am typical mamma bear... I don't want to be told that my kids are missing milestones or are delayed...but if negative observations are made I want justify these aspects of my kids ! "Behind!? Don't you see how smart she is and how fast she's learning?" On the flip side, in my moments of humiliation regarding either my inability to parent, or an out of control child I wish to justify these un-savories also" yeah so what of she's screaming and slapping me on the middle of Walmart..she was a preemie and she's my foster kid I haven't had her that long...and I don't beat her! AND DON'T YOU JUDGE ME" I mentally scream to the sympathetic passerby...
At Target the other day, I felt super proud of myself for not once mentally screaming these excuses. I owned my toddler's bad behavior. I was there for 30 ish minutes. she screamed and whined for 3-4. It was a long 3-4, (it actually might have been more like 1-2 but time stood still for mamma) but I not once wanted to justify her behavior, in my head or to the world. She knew what she was doing, she knew the consequences. And I knew her enough to know she would get over it. My kid threw a tantrum, not because she was a preemie, or neglected, or in foster care, but because she wanted to hold the plastic cups and mamma wouldn't let her.* So what? they were cool cups!
embarrassed my kids throw tantrums over plastic cups? ha newbie #newparent
This post seemed to make a lot more sense in my head....#newblogger
ps....
*The issue was not her holding the plastic cups, but she is not allowed to hold anything mom puts in the cart only to prevent the meltdown when we have to hand everything over to the cashier, for some reason the cups were the biggest enticement today. This system has worked well for me in the past *sigh*.
At Target the other day, I felt super proud of myself for not once mentally screaming these excuses. I owned my toddler's bad behavior. I was there for 30 ish minutes. she screamed and whined for 3-4. It was a long 3-4, (it actually might have been more like 1-2 but time stood still for mamma) but I not once wanted to justify her behavior, in my head or to the world. She knew what she was doing, she knew the consequences. And I knew her enough to know she would get over it. My kid threw a tantrum, not because she was a preemie, or neglected, or in foster care, but because she wanted to hold the plastic cups and mamma wouldn't let her.* So what? they were cool cups!
embarrassed my kids throw tantrums over plastic cups? ha newbie #newparent
This post seemed to make a lot more sense in my head....#newblogger
ps....
*The issue was not her holding the plastic cups, but she is not allowed to hold anything mom puts in the cart only to prevent the meltdown when we have to hand everything over to the cashier, for some reason the cups were the biggest enticement today. This system has worked well for me in the past *sigh*.
Sunday, March 2, 2014
Resilient?
The beginning of this year has been a bit on the blah side of life. Health problems for everyone in the family to varying degrees. House hunting troubles and successes that turned to troubles again. And of course the ever prolonged custody battle, which is having kids in the system.
The husband and I enjoyed our continuing education training classes over the weekend, and our now equipped for another year of foster parenting. There is something very motivating about being surrounded by hundreds and hundreds of foster parents with countless years of experience who still love what they do...who still love these kids. It seriously put into perspective any "troubles" I have with my babies.
I surveyed the people surrounding me over the weekend, and I wondered how many of them have ever felt beaten down emotionally as I have lately...and then I laughed at myself because "DUH!" Who in this world has not at one point in their life felt emotionally beaten on!? All of us have at some points, or thousands of points. Because we need Jesus in our lives. We can't do it alone. Whatever it is. I know I can't do it. I feel stuck sometimes even when life is smooth sailing. Throw a mild stomach bug in the mix and you see k8 in a tailspin. Although I am trying to be content, mindful, and resilient in my faith, my life, and my spiritual journey, I feel I am constantly failing. A quick trip to http://www.resilient-faith.com/ *shameless plug* reminded me of this verse:
"I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need."~Phillipians 4:12
I met people in this Foster care training that embodied this verse in powerful ways. To be content, in every circumstance, can only be done through the strength given by Christ. It was nice to see people living this faith in ways I can only hope to emulate.
The husband and I enjoyed our continuing education training classes over the weekend, and our now equipped for another year of foster parenting. There is something very motivating about being surrounded by hundreds and hundreds of foster parents with countless years of experience who still love what they do...who still love these kids. It seriously put into perspective any "troubles" I have with my babies.
I surveyed the people surrounding me over the weekend, and I wondered how many of them have ever felt beaten down emotionally as I have lately...and then I laughed at myself because "DUH!" Who in this world has not at one point in their life felt emotionally beaten on!? All of us have at some points, or thousands of points. Because we need Jesus in our lives. We can't do it alone. Whatever it is. I know I can't do it. I feel stuck sometimes even when life is smooth sailing. Throw a mild stomach bug in the mix and you see k8 in a tailspin. Although I am trying to be content, mindful, and resilient in my faith, my life, and my spiritual journey, I feel I am constantly failing. A quick trip to http://www.resilient-faith.com/ *shameless plug* reminded me of this verse:
"I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need."~Phillipians 4:12
I met people in this Foster care training that embodied this verse in powerful ways. To be content, in every circumstance, can only be done through the strength given by Christ. It was nice to see people living this faith in ways I can only hope to emulate.
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