Wednesday, March 5, 2014
Tuesday, March 4, 2014
#newparent
Really, this blog should be called HASHTAG NEW PARENT!! because seriously... that is the number one thing in my life that shapes my day to day: and thus, my life/blog. The only real thing that is interestingly relevant in my life, is us being NEW parents. (ok so by now we are only SORTA new... not AS new,but still relatively new...and keep in mind I started this particular post in August haha)
Sometimes it has been hard to tell what is unique to fostering and what is just parenting. Minus my non-hormonal introduction to mommy-hood, NOTHING is different as far as I am concerned. Not when it comes to my kids. Sure I have way more people and paper involved my parenting process. But lots of people have kids in occupational therapy, with behavioral challenges or baggage.
Part of my transitions has been especially noticeable when pertaining to my toddler, i.e. the child I JUMPED in the middle of life with...ok so realistically I missed 18 months of her life..so she is hardly in the middle...but it sure felt like I missed a whole bunch. With the baby I only missed 3 days. And even then I have wondered what specifics of his life I missed... But with T I have struggled with what's a behavior from a neglected baby/preemie/possible exposure vs. typical two year old?
Sometimes it has been hard to tell what is unique to fostering and what is just parenting. Minus my non-hormonal introduction to mommy-hood, NOTHING is different as far as I am concerned. Not when it comes to my kids. Sure I have way more people and paper involved my parenting process. But lots of people have kids in occupational therapy, with behavioral challenges or baggage.
Part of my transitions has been especially noticeable when pertaining to my toddler, i.e. the child I JUMPED in the middle of life with...ok so realistically I missed 18 months of her life..so she is hardly in the middle...but it sure felt like I missed a whole bunch. With the baby I only missed 3 days. And even then I have wondered what specifics of his life I missed... But with T I have struggled with what's a behavior from a neglected baby/preemie/possible exposure vs. typical two year old?
I am typical mamma bear... I don't want to be told that my kids are missing milestones or are delayed...but if negative observations are made I want justify these aspects of my kids ! "Behind!? Don't you see how smart she is and how fast she's learning?" On the flip side, in my moments of humiliation regarding either my inability to parent, or an out of control child I wish to justify these un-savories also" yeah so what of she's screaming and slapping me on the middle of Walmart..she was a preemie and she's my foster kid I haven't had her that long...and I don't beat her! AND DON'T YOU JUDGE ME" I mentally scream to the sympathetic passerby...
At Target the other day, I felt super proud of myself for not once mentally screaming these excuses. I owned my toddler's bad behavior. I was there for 30 ish minutes. she screamed and whined for 3-4. It was a long 3-4, (it actually might have been more like 1-2 but time stood still for mamma) but I not once wanted to justify her behavior, in my head or to the world. She knew what she was doing, she knew the consequences. And I knew her enough to know she would get over it. My kid threw a tantrum, not because she was a preemie, or neglected, or in foster care, but because she wanted to hold the plastic cups and mamma wouldn't let her.* So what? they were cool cups!
embarrassed my kids throw tantrums over plastic cups? ha newbie #newparent
This post seemed to make a lot more sense in my head....#newblogger
ps....
*The issue was not her holding the plastic cups, but she is not allowed to hold anything mom puts in the cart only to prevent the meltdown when we have to hand everything over to the cashier, for some reason the cups were the biggest enticement today. This system has worked well for me in the past *sigh*.
At Target the other day, I felt super proud of myself for not once mentally screaming these excuses. I owned my toddler's bad behavior. I was there for 30 ish minutes. she screamed and whined for 3-4. It was a long 3-4, (it actually might have been more like 1-2 but time stood still for mamma) but I not once wanted to justify her behavior, in my head or to the world. She knew what she was doing, she knew the consequences. And I knew her enough to know she would get over it. My kid threw a tantrum, not because she was a preemie, or neglected, or in foster care, but because she wanted to hold the plastic cups and mamma wouldn't let her.* So what? they were cool cups!
embarrassed my kids throw tantrums over plastic cups? ha newbie #newparent
This post seemed to make a lot more sense in my head....#newblogger
ps....
*The issue was not her holding the plastic cups, but she is not allowed to hold anything mom puts in the cart only to prevent the meltdown when we have to hand everything over to the cashier, for some reason the cups were the biggest enticement today. This system has worked well for me in the past *sigh*.
Sunday, March 2, 2014
Resilient?
The beginning of this year has been a bit on the blah side of life. Health problems for everyone in the family to varying degrees. House hunting troubles and successes that turned to troubles again. And of course the ever prolonged custody battle, which is having kids in the system.
The husband and I enjoyed our continuing education training classes over the weekend, and our now equipped for another year of foster parenting. There is something very motivating about being surrounded by hundreds and hundreds of foster parents with countless years of experience who still love what they do...who still love these kids. It seriously put into perspective any "troubles" I have with my babies.
I surveyed the people surrounding me over the weekend, and I wondered how many of them have ever felt beaten down emotionally as I have lately...and then I laughed at myself because "DUH!" Who in this world has not at one point in their life felt emotionally beaten on!? All of us have at some points, or thousands of points. Because we need Jesus in our lives. We can't do it alone. Whatever it is. I know I can't do it. I feel stuck sometimes even when life is smooth sailing. Throw a mild stomach bug in the mix and you see k8 in a tailspin. Although I am trying to be content, mindful, and resilient in my faith, my life, and my spiritual journey, I feel I am constantly failing. A quick trip to http://www.resilient-faith.com/ *shameless plug* reminded me of this verse:
"I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need."~Phillipians 4:12
I met people in this Foster care training that embodied this verse in powerful ways. To be content, in every circumstance, can only be done through the strength given by Christ. It was nice to see people living this faith in ways I can only hope to emulate.
The husband and I enjoyed our continuing education training classes over the weekend, and our now equipped for another year of foster parenting. There is something very motivating about being surrounded by hundreds and hundreds of foster parents with countless years of experience who still love what they do...who still love these kids. It seriously put into perspective any "troubles" I have with my babies.
I surveyed the people surrounding me over the weekend, and I wondered how many of them have ever felt beaten down emotionally as I have lately...and then I laughed at myself because "DUH!" Who in this world has not at one point in their life felt emotionally beaten on!? All of us have at some points, or thousands of points. Because we need Jesus in our lives. We can't do it alone. Whatever it is. I know I can't do it. I feel stuck sometimes even when life is smooth sailing. Throw a mild stomach bug in the mix and you see k8 in a tailspin. Although I am trying to be content, mindful, and resilient in my faith, my life, and my spiritual journey, I feel I am constantly failing. A quick trip to http://www.resilient-faith.com/ *shameless plug* reminded me of this verse:
"I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need."~Phillipians 4:12
I met people in this Foster care training that embodied this verse in powerful ways. To be content, in every circumstance, can only be done through the strength given by Christ. It was nice to see people living this faith in ways I can only hope to emulate.
Friday, February 28, 2014
happy birthday
I don't know why I don't blog more often. I used to love doing this.
I believe sometimes I feel held back by not wanting to put "TOO" much information out there about my life with my kiddos. However, I wish to someday be an encouragement to other foster or hope to adopt families, so I want enough realistic information to be relevant. Either way, this blog has suffered and i wish to revamp!
There is no news on the future of my kids. As far as an official update, the official case plan is still adoption by the grandmother. Have heard nothing new since November, just confirmation that this plan is still in motion.
Life presses, on. The kids grow and learn so fast.
We celebrated T's second birthday, only in glorious AZ could we experience such a delightful outdoor February birthday.
The milestones this girl has passed *sigh*...subtle to those parents of typical toddlers: huge for us.
She walks with her feet closer, and closer together, arms lower and lower each day showing new found stability.
Her weight is approaching, if not surpassing, that ominous 20 lb. mark.
She gives kisses and hugs, says "wuv You." and smiles and continues to interact with us when strangers are around instead of staring blankly.
She is beginning to maintain her playful self when therapists visit, causing all sorts of new strides made in the occupational department.
She pretend plays. For any of you that have dealt with a child of a troubled past, even a mildy troubled one, you may know how important pretend play is. Little miss T is the most loving (until bored) little mamma to her baby dolls, and her baby brother. She also has taken to cooking, with a shovel and a sand sifter. yelling "PASTA!" and making me eat whatever she "shovels" my way. (perhaps I should actually get her some play kitchen stuffies).
She is exhibiting an independence. Walking into her playgroup during my bible study.
Overall she is feeling more secure and it shows in her behavior. and it warms my heart. I love my little beauty. My prayers are that I will celebrate many more birthdays with her!
I believe sometimes I feel held back by not wanting to put "TOO" much information out there about my life with my kiddos. However, I wish to someday be an encouragement to other foster or hope to adopt families, so I want enough realistic information to be relevant. Either way, this blog has suffered and i wish to revamp!
There is no news on the future of my kids. As far as an official update, the official case plan is still adoption by the grandmother. Have heard nothing new since November, just confirmation that this plan is still in motion.
Life presses, on. The kids grow and learn so fast.
We celebrated T's second birthday, only in glorious AZ could we experience such a delightful outdoor February birthday.
The milestones this girl has passed *sigh*...subtle to those parents of typical toddlers: huge for us.
She walks with her feet closer, and closer together, arms lower and lower each day showing new found stability.
Her weight is approaching, if not surpassing, that ominous 20 lb. mark.
She gives kisses and hugs, says "wuv You." and smiles and continues to interact with us when strangers are around instead of staring blankly.
She is beginning to maintain her playful self when therapists visit, causing all sorts of new strides made in the occupational department.
She pretend plays. For any of you that have dealt with a child of a troubled past, even a mildy troubled one, you may know how important pretend play is. Little miss T is the most loving (until bored) little mamma to her baby dolls, and her baby brother. She also has taken to cooking, with a shovel and a sand sifter. yelling "PASTA!" and making me eat whatever she "shovels" my way. (perhaps I should actually get her some play kitchen stuffies).
She is exhibiting an independence. Walking into her playgroup during my bible study.
Overall she is feeling more secure and it shows in her behavior. and it warms my heart. I love my little beauty. My prayers are that I will celebrate many more birthdays with her!
Tuesday, December 31, 2013
Life bits
No updates on where my kiddos will be in a few months. But home with us for the holidays is more than I dared ask for!
There are trying days and wonderful moments.
The kids are growing like weeds!
Baby C has started solids, rocks a doc band, and continues to be Mr. Giggles day in and day out! He demands more attention these days and absolutely loves his sister and anything she does.
Baby T has finally gained some weight, is talking up a storm, including her first 3 word unprompted sentence : "Mamma, cracker please!"
She has occupational therapy a few times a month, and has started playing by herself a bit, and exploring life more fearlessly.
She is defiant and loud, but it has been such a blessing to see her begin to freely laugh and play and be comfortable in her own skin. Amazing the transitional issues even such young children can go through.
We are having fun in our little family. I will update more when time permits.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year
The kids are growing like weeds!
Baby C has started solids, rocks a doc band, and continues to be Mr. Giggles day in and day out! He demands more attention these days and absolutely loves his sister and anything she does.
Baby T has finally gained some weight, is talking up a storm, including her first 3 word unprompted sentence : "Mamma, cracker please!"
She has occupational therapy a few times a month, and has started playing by herself a bit, and exploring life more fearlessly.
She is defiant and loud, but it has been such a blessing to see her begin to freely laugh and play and be comfortable in her own skin. Amazing the transitional issues even such young children can go through.
We are having fun in our little family. I will update more when time permits.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year
Saturday, November 9, 2013
fun day
Loving life with my kiddos. We have enjoyed lots of crazy, loud, fun, screaming adventures in the past few weeks. But our favorite time is when daddy-o is home and we have extra hands for extra fun outings like the zoo
loving stroller weather
looking at the exotic stuffed dolls....
baby looking at exotic coffees
awwwww
too little walk very long, too stubborn to ride.
loving stroller weather
looking at the exotic stuffed dolls....
baby looking at exotic coffees
awwwww
too little walk very long, too stubborn to ride.
In other news we have been in contact with their potentially adoptive grandmother. And things very well could be leaning in the favor of the family. Loving each day with these kiddos.
Thursday, October 10, 2013
the eagle has landed
There are two privileged foster kids who have never had to share a room before, sharing a room, and sleeping in separate cribs down the hall from me. They do not know what having a full sibling means, or how much the system worked in their favor to keep them together. I pray that I am their Mamma, who one day has to teach them how to love on, share with, and respect each other, and who teaches them what a blessing siblings are in this life. Baby C smiles at big sis like she is a bottle of formula waiting to be gulped. She stares at him blankly, but I know in a few days she will be spreading the crumbly graham cracker love on his hair and back with love pats.
The story of T hopefully ends here with us. Transitioning is tough for an 18 month old. Her disconcerted little body holding stiff as we try to love her tonight. All she knows is mom and dad just left, and in the morning she will wake up in a strange place, possibly with an infant babbling in her ear. Who likes waking in a stranger's house? Especially if you didn't have a choice in the transition? Pray for baby T, our sweet girl we will have forever or just a little while. Pray that we minister to her and exemplify Christ's love each moment. Pray for health and healing for both babies mentally and physically.
And special prayers for her grieving foster family.They loved T and absolutely smothered her in prayers, and after having T 10 months, tearfully handed her over tonight.
The story of T hopefully ends here with us. Transitioning is tough for an 18 month old. Her disconcerted little body holding stiff as we try to love her tonight. All she knows is mom and dad just left, and in the morning she will wake up in a strange place, possibly with an infant babbling in her ear. Who likes waking in a stranger's house? Especially if you didn't have a choice in the transition? Pray for baby T, our sweet girl we will have forever or just a little while. Pray that we minister to her and exemplify Christ's love each moment. Pray for health and healing for both babies mentally and physically.
And special prayers for her grieving foster family.They loved T and absolutely smothered her in prayers, and after having T 10 months, tearfully handed her over tonight.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)